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When your wed its for "richer for poorer", which is  one of the  promises  you make on your wedding day. And developing your financial  plan  for the future can be exciting when done together. If you are marrying for the first time, or remarrying, an effective financial plan will help establish opportunities for a long-lasting marriage.

A marriage includes the everyday details of merging perhaps two incomes, two sets of personal property, two styles of money management, two attitudes about what money really means and expectations about money’s impact on your future. The key is  to communicate and mutually agree on finances before marriage.

The following highlights many of the financial and related legal issues you will encounter when you begin to blend your lives together in a new relationship. It provides basic solutions to concrete problems and suggests additional resources you may want to consult. Specific state laws and your unique circumstances will determine how you use this information. You should consult your attorney, financial adviser, accountant or other professionals when you make legal and financial decisions.

Knowing your economic  hopes and desires and sharing them with your soul mate  becomes an important first step in the business of marriage. The beliefs you embrace, early influences and the attitudes and behaviors you develop throughout the years define your money personality. Do you spend money freely, or are you frugal? Do you use money for immediate gratification, or are you willing to delay the gratification and save for future pleasures? Are you willing to take risks with money, or does risk make you uneasy? Do you view money as a tool to help you achieve security and acquire a lifestyle, or do you use money to help you feel better about yourself? Compare your answers with those of your future spouse to determine what compromises should be made.

Marriage and financial counselors advise couples to observe each other’s money habits and spend significant time talking about money as soon as they begin to think seriously about marriage. Watch for the habits or attitudes that may irritate or concern you after you are married and discuss them openly.

And you must talk, frankly and frequently about money. Discussing money with the person you hope to marry, in the atmosphere of a developing love and life relationship, may seem intimidating. It is important to develop a dialogue about money that lasts the rest of your lives. And marriage counselors point out another benefit to all this talk: Discussing and deciding money issues can become a tool to enhance intimacy and to grow together as a couple.

How can you avoid the stress that money puts on your relationship? Marriage counselors and financial advisers agree: Decide up front that your marriage is also a financial partnership — you and your spouse make decisions and develop solutions about money as a team.

To make that a reality, you must talk honestly and openly about your own money attitudes and expectations before you marry. Talking is preventive medicine for marriages.

Based on what you learn about one another, you will also need to make some decisions about how you want to handle money after you marry. For most couples, that means compromise — on both sides.

Answer the questions below and then compare your answers with those of your future spouse. Then find the differences and develop a joint solution that makes you both happy.

• What assets do you bring to the marriage?

• What is your income? What are your debts? Who will be responsible for these debts?

• How much do you tend to spend? On what?

• What kind of credit rating do you have?

• How do you feel about financial responsibilities to aging parents, ex-spouses or children from a previous relationship, if any?

• Do you save? Invest?

• Are you frugal, a spender or something in-between?

• What are your dreams and goals for your later years?

• Are you willing to pool your money in joint accounts? Or would you be more comfortable keeping separate financial accounts?

• If you keep separate accounts, who will be responsible for paying the rent or mortgage, insurance, utilities; buying furniture; making vehicle payments and insurance; buying food; paying for entertainment, trips, and clothes?

• How will you decide about new purchases?

• Are you willing to share credit cards? What kinds of charges should be made on credit cards you share?

• Who will make investment decisions? What if you do not agree with one another?

• If you opt for joint accounts, who will be responsible for managing the checkbook and ensuring household bills are paid?

• checkbook? Who controls the money in the relationship?

• How will you make decisions about life insurance? A will? Will you designate one another as beneficiary?

• If one of you gets a job that requires relocation, whose career is most important?

• Do you need to keep some part of your financial life separate? Why? Can you both agree to that?

• If you plan to have children, what financial expectations and beliefs do you have about childrearing?

• If both of you own a home, how will you handle the decision on whether to sell or lease the second home?

Expect some or all of these questions to be uncomfortable. After all, talking about money might be a new dimension of the relationship which hasn't been viewed before. You may not agree on every issue. In the beginning at least, agreement is less important than getting attitudes and differences out on the table for discussion.

As you talk to one another, you will begin to understand each other’s point of view and the reasons why your way of dealing with money is different than your partner’s way. Try to look for the deeper, emotional issues that direct behavior without judging or criticizing. This financial understanding of each other is the basis for compromises you will need to make about money management.

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